I found myself thinking this while sitting in the audience tonight at rehearsal. I love sitting in the empty theatre of whatever show I’m performing in and coming to a state of comfortable balance in the space; just observing, centering myself. It’s a space of exploration for me. I’m curious about the great actors who may have graced that stage before me. How cool is it that I get to be in the same space? I’m not sure if it’s just me projecting my assumptions or not, but either way it’s special to me.
I learned about centering myself in the space in a class in college called The Speaking Voice In Performance. For the first few classes we laid on the ground, eyes closed, focusing on being in the moment and the breath. It may not seem like work, but you’d be surprised at how much emotional work and mental effort goes into quieting your brain and allowing yourself to let go of your anxieties or thoughts. After a while, with the noise of the outside world drifting away outside the black box doors, for an hour each day my mind quieted long enough to hear things I’d never noticed before. The hissing of the pipes, the creaking of a door, the sounds of the building becoming increasingly louder, as I myself grew increasingly quieter. The energy of the room became more apparent than it had before. This room had its own life, its own energy, its own vitality. I became just a passerby in the big scheme of things. I liked that. It reminded me that my anxieties are not the totality of the truth of my existence. There were many bigger elements outside of myself. For some, realizing that they are a tiny particle in a much bigger universe is frightening and makes them feel unimportant. For me, it started to relax me and showed me that the universe is vast and wonderful if you stop long enough to listen to it. It is not frightening nor depressing to me, my small nature in the big scheme of things; it is a relief. I am only in control of what I do. I can’t control the world outside of me, much as I can try, but at the end of the day I am not responsible for the actions of everyone and everything else in my vicinity. It’s a huge weight lifted. This vast world and the infinite space beyond all have their own marvels that I get to be privy to, should I choose to wonder at them. So, can this microcosm of a space in the big expanse hold a memory?
It may be far-fetched to jump from the contents of the last paragraph back to the original question, but in my brain it makes quite a bit of sense, so I’ll try to span the bridge as best I can for you, dear reader. Quieting my brain enough to be rooted in the space I’m in with no outside distractions, no cars honking, no passersby cursing, no trains humming, and getting in tune with the energy of the space leads me to question how one effects the environments they’ve spent time in, energetically. Who came before me in this space? On this stage? In this audience? In this dressing room? What great work has been performed exactly where my two feet are planted? How many wonderful memories have been created in this theatre? How much laughter? What did that sound like? How many memorable performances? How many standing ovations? Am I standing on the same ground, the exact spot, of the great performers who have inspired so many? There are so many that I admire. Have they left their energetic mark on these walls? As I experience the room, thinking these things, my imagination goes deeper and deeper, until I can almost see and hear each of these instances happening. Am I walking in the literal steps of the greats who’ve gone before me? I like to think so, and hopefully someone will come along and wonder the same about me…
“Give em’ the old razzle dazzle, razzle dazzle em”. Any “Chicago” fans out there? That lyric was literally the first thing that came to mind when I thought about the word dazzle. Dazzle sounds sparkly, doesn’t it? It sounds glitzy, like the 20’s, at least in my opinion. It reminds me of themed 20’s parties, songs, dances, movies, singing, and general stuff of that era. It also makes me think about how I can dazzle people…or at least “dazzle” my own life. You see, I’m an entrepreneur, so I’m always thinking of ways to dazzle my customers at all of my jobs (yes, you read that correctly, I have several jobs). I’m a waitress, dog walker, house sitter, e-commerce store owner, and aspiring actress/singer. There’s a lot of room to dazzle there!
Thinking about the e-commerce store, though (millennialpets.org), I’m always learning and growing. I’m not particularly technically inclined, and that is an uphill climb for me…but I’m always learning and achieving and acquiring new skills. I’ve learned more about how the internet/tech works in the last few months than I have in a lifetime, and it really is a whole other world. All in all, I hope to dazzle my clients every day with awesome customer service, speed, accuracy, and products that provide tons of incredible memories! I also hope to have the skills of Broadway stars so that I can literally dazzle entire audiences every night one day. It will happen. In the meantime, keep on being you, you fabulous ragtagdailyprompt’ers! Have a wonderful Monday!
I’ve found that ambition has a price, so I’m trying to revel in the beauty of the moment while working to make my dreams happen. 🙂
What to say about the word disappear…at first I thought that the idea of the word disappear could be easily written about. Then I realized that what I wanted to say, maybe it wasn’t so healthy; or maybe…it just is…not healthy or unhealthy. So let’s have a go. When I think of disappearing I think of the obvious: a magic act. The item disappears. Simple as that. Err…well, not simple for the magician, I know. Magic is something that is very important, though…for me my connection to musical theatre is magical…it opens up my soul to worlds that I didn’t know could exist. It’s like there’s a whole part of me that doesn’t exist when I’m not singing/performing musicals, and when I do get to do what I love I become so engrossed in it that my angst, my worry, my outside concerns…they disappear. It’s moving and enthralling to me. There’s nothing else like it. It is so magical that I could even tell you the exact moment that I fell in love with what I do. I will never forget it, and I hope it never disappears…So…what memory do you love so much that you hope it never disappears? I hope you all have one, and I hope it brings a smile to your face when you read this!
So, my lovely blog readers, I’ve been gone for a few days…and what a wonderful few days it has been! It has certainly been an adventure! I got to do an acting project, which meant I was taken away from this bloggin’ business for many hours as my presence was needed on set. I did have a fair amount of time to think, observe, and enjoy many different facets of life while I was there, though, and I just want to update you on the adventures that I’ve been having.
This first picture was taken early yesterday morning, at 6:20 am, while on the train…yes, people, performers do see the light of day in the morning! I was surprised, though. I thought I would be the only one on the long subway ride past Everybodyelseisstillsleepingville, but boy was I wrong. It turns out…this city certainly wakes up early! It got me thinking: where are all these people going so early in the morning? What are their jobs? It really put things into perspective for me. Many people make huge sacrifices in life to be successful…such as being at work at a very early hour…and they probably work many long hours as well. I’m really in this with everyone. It made me feel a sense of solidarity, but is that really the truth? Or is that feeling false? What do you think? Needless to say…my day was started off with this boost of energy that I wasn’t expecting to get from complete strangers…simply by them being in the same boat as me. Now that’s food for thought; gotta love New York City and it’s diverse, solidarity-loving crowd. I think I’ll stay. 🙂
Sorry I’ve been off for a while. You see, life is so insane at the moment. I got a new job (which I’m studying for madly), and still trying to settle into life in nyc. I’ve gone on two auditions (only…and that’s sad) since I’ve moved here. They were both very interesting projects, though! Word of advice: apply for auditions 24/7…you won’t get many of them…but at least you’re getting your name out there and laying the groundwork for future auditions with those companies. Work on it. It will help. 🙂 Anywho, back from my tangent…I discovered the Hi-Line, Chelsea Market, Washington Square Park, and the West Village today and it was such a blast! I got to see a part of New York that I had not been to and it was wonderful! 🙂 I highly recommend taking a walk on the Hi-Line (an old railroad track located a few stories off the ground that has been made into a walking park) as the flowers are coming into bloom now. There’s lots of photography options out there as the colors are so beautiful right now and I couldn’t help but want to take pictures of all the beauty!