I know what you’re thinking. What the heck does she mean by settling out? You’re right. It makes no sense. Times are so strange. I honestly wish that tomorrow was January 1st, 2021. 2020 has been a wipe, ha ha. Can we just skip to the good part? Anyways, let’s get started.

During COVID-19 everything has changed. Life is still topsy turvy here in NYC and I’m sure it’s crazy elsewhere, too. I’m finally settling in. I’m finally in a groove. This is all taking place…just when we are now starting to talk about re-opening. I’m still getting used to this new normal. I’m not ready to start a new phase of change (although I will have to adapt regardless and I’m prepared to do so). So I’ve settled in…but what about the next part? What about…settling…out? By that I mean how do we progress towards re-opening and changing our way of life for the 2nd time in a very recent period. How do we feel comfortable in such a chaotic and dangerous world/situation? We’ll have no choice. Life must go on, but how do we, in ourselves, prepare ourselves for the unknown and possible danger of the next phase. We must be brave. We must educate ourselves about how to be safe while moving around the city now. What will this new world look like? Will we be quarantined again? So that’s what I mean by settling out. Going out into the world again with whatever confidence in the face of fear that we can after upending our lives by quarantining (which I agree, has been good to do and may be best to continue). For the record, I don’t want the world to go back to the way things were before. Clearly that was not working, and we need to move forward in a different, more positive manner.

Although I am very well aware of the fact that the phrase settling out isn’t a logical term or a regular one, to me it perfectly captures the way that I’m feeling. How are you feeling?

IMG-1698Thin, thin, thin…what to say about the word thin. Thin…body? Thin…paper? Thin…WHAT? Well, thin skin is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I never realized just…how okay life was going to be before. Reflecting on my past throughout this past month, I realized that many of the problems that used to scare me, terrify me, drive me crazy, are all things that eventually worked themselves out in one way, shape, or form. Things that seemed like the end of the world to me never were. My mother has often been the calm voice of reason, and the backbone of a lot of the support during those times. I realized, though, how great it feels to rely more on myself. I’ve also realized…that there is no one to be responsible for my situations but me…and it’s time to create a life, etc…and there’s no one else but me who really has the power to do it. It’s scary, but it’s also invigorating and exciting because my skin…is getting even thicker than before, and I’ve noticed growth in confidence because of that. So, my thought process is this: thin. What does thinking of the word thin remind me of? Thick. What does thick remind me of? People who fight every day with a smile on their face, who have confidence in themselves…who have a thick skin. About this I say: you, yes you reading this, your skin is probably thicker than you think. 🙂